


Broken and in Love

by makingitanime



Category: Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Abusive Parents, Cutting, Depression, M/M, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 10:43:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1466452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makingitanime/pseuds/makingitanime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kellin Quinn had lived in a mental hospital for two years now and is now finally free to leave. But once he's out, he is triggered again and starts to go back down. But one night, while he's walking, he finds a man and his little brother away in a dark alley, he takes them in till they can both stand on their feet. Then Kellin starts to have feeling for this man. Will the man return the feeling for him? (crappy summary but I promise this is a good fic.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_“Why would you do that?” shouted someone, “why would you try and kill yourself?”_

_I just sat there, staring at the floor, not muttering a word. I didn’t want to be here, I had a mission and they just had to barge in and ruin everything._

_“That’s it,” they said, sounding done with me, “you’re going to a mental hospital.”_

 

I was then awoken by a banging at the door. “Get up,” they said and walked away. I honestly hated how they woke us up. Banging on the god damn door, telling us to get up and then walk away. The worst part is if you don’t wake up, they’ll barge on in and make sure you’re up.

I hated this place and I just want to leave. But, at last, I’m force to be here till ‘I’m better’.

There’s nothing wrong with me. Sure, I did try to kill myself 3 times in a span of three weeks, but, that doesn’t mean that I should be locked up with a bunch of crazy people.

I slowly got out of bed and walked out the door. I then made a left turn, towards the cafeteria.

I hated this one part about me, minus the fact that I hated all of me; I knew where to go in this place.

I guess that what happens when your parents locked you up in a crazy house for two years.

I quickly made my way to the cafeteria. When I got there, I notice that my therapist was there.

When he noticed me, he quickly walked over to me and said, “My office. Now.” I looked at him with confusion but still followed him into this office.

When we got there, I walked in and sat down in my usual spot. When he closed his door and sat down across from me, I asked, “What did I do?”

“Nothing,” he said. “I need to tell you that you are now free to leave."

I look at him with shock, he can’t be serious right? I’m now free to go after being cooped up here for 2 year?

“Why?” I asked, still shocked that I’m actually being let go.

“You have made a good enough progress here that you can be let go,” he said, “but, once you’re free, you must continue to take your medication and still see a therapist. I already called and confirm with them that you will be there patient for now on.”

I nodded and stood up, waiting to be told to go.

“Before you leave,” he said, “if anyone notices that you are getting worse, you will come back here and be treated again, this time longer.” I nodded again. Wow, after two years of this hell, I’m being let go.

“Okay, you can go and pack up. Stay in your room till someone gets you so you can go home. It was nice having you around Kellin Quinn.”

I made a dash out of there and too my room. Finally, I was free. I can leave this place and never see it again.

I made it into my room to see my stuff there. I grabbed my duffel bag and put all my stuff in it.

I then sat down on my bed. I then looked around my room. Two years I lived in here, slept in here, cried and screamed in here, and now, I was leaving it. I leaned back onto the wall and closed my eyes.

“Kellin,” someone said, I opened my eyes and looked toward the door, “you can leave now.”

I sat up, grabbed my bag and left the room for the last time. Hopefully.

 

The reunion was tearful, well to my mother it was. When she saw me, she quickly hugged me and cried. My dad just stood there, watching.

Dad always seemed to do that when I was living with them. Suddenly, something it me. I pulled back from mom’s hug and said, “What is dad doing here?”  
Before I left, my parents were constantly fighting; they were getting a divorce around the time I was sent here.

Mom looked back at dad and back at me. She wiped here eyes and said, “We both wanted to see you Kells. It’s been two years since we saw you.” “But you can’t be in the same room as each other without fighting. So why now?” I asked. “We both wanted to see you when you left this place. Now, come on, let’s go home,” mom said and walked me out of this place.

 

 

The first stop we took was to dad’s apartment. Turns out, when I was sent to that place, my parents went through with the divorce. Dad now lives in a cheap apartment he found nearby and mom kept the house.

When mom and I got to the house, I quickly walked up to the front door and opened it. I set down my bag next to the door and walked around this place.  
It did seem the same as it was when I left, just some of dad’s stuff was taken out and mom did get some new furniture. I then walked up the steps and towards my room. I stood there in front of my door. The last time I was in here was when my parents found me and rushed me to the ER. I took another breath and walked in.

The room stayed the same as it was when I was last in here. The bed still wasn’t made, my closet was still open, and my drawers were still the way it was last time I was here.

I walked over to my drawers and put them back to where they were. Then I closed my closet door and then started to clean my bed.

I then sat down on my bed, looking around my now clean room. I smiled to myself, happy that I manage to be back here. I then lay down on my bed, looking at the ceiling, continuing to smile. I then fell asleep with a smile on my face. Just happy that I was back home.


	2. Chapter 2

     The next thing I remember was feeling someone shake my shoulder. “Kellin, sweetie, time to wake up,” said a small, kind voice. I then slowly opened my eyes to see my mother looking at me with a sweet smile. I remember the last time she gave me that smile was when I was still in grade school. Suddenly, something didn’t feel right.

     I sat up, looking around. Why was I in my room? Why is my mother giving me a smile that she hasn’t given me since I was little? Something didn’t feel right to me. Suddenly, I remember. I was back home. I was no longer in that hell hole of a mental hospital.

     “What time is it?” I asked with a groggy voice. I was honestly still tired. You really didn’t get a good sleep in that hospital, with all that screaming that goes on in the night, the staff clanking in the empty hall ways, and the nightmares. Within those two years, I had more night mares then I did in my first twenty years of life. “It’s a little past six,” my mom finally said, “come on, up, it’s time for dinner.”

     I then got out of bed and followed my mom to the kitchen.

 

 

     The kitchen table was filled with all my favourite meals, from my favourite breakfast foods from when I was a child to my favourite dinners before I was sent away. I sat down across from my mom and started to eat.

     The entire dinner was filled with clanking of the silverware against the plates and my mom giving small talk. She mostly asked me about how my life was like the last two years. Most of the answers I just shrugged.

     There honestly nothing really exciting that happened to me. Just got a lot of medication, group and solo therapy, and just hanged in my room all day since they couldn’t trust me out of there, afraid that I would relapse or something.

     “Have you figured out what you’re going to do now Kellin?” my mom asked. I just looked at my plate. I honestly didn’t know what I’m going to do now. Since it was close to the end of the year of my senior year in high school and they pity my poor ass because I was being sent to a mental hospital, they decided to give me my diploma. I never did get a proper graduation; they just sent me the diploma and let it be that. I didn’t think I was going to go to college, since my grades barley made it to graduation worthy and I was in a mental hospital for two years, I don’t think any collage would accept me. I could get a job at McDonalds or something. “I don’t know,” I answered, “I never really thought about it. I thought that I was going to be cooped up in there all my life so I didn’t really think I would do anything with my life.” My mom just nodded and we both continue our dinner in silence.

 

 

     Once dinner was done and over with, I helped my mom with the dishes and then decided to go upstairs and take a warm bath.

     Living in that place for two years, I never really had a bath. Sure, they made sure we were squeaky clean but we were always force to have cold showers every other day. I honestly forgot what it was like to sit in a warm bath.

     When the bath tub was filled with enough warm water, I then stripped out of my clothes and sat in the tub. A content moan escaped my lips when I settled into the tub. This was one thing I missed, besides freedom, sitting in a warm bath for as long as I want without having someone tell me to hurry up within a minute of getting in.

     I sat there, content that I was finally enjoying myself for the first time in two years. Or since forever really. I never felt this happy and content since grade school. Before all this fighting and all this feeling nothing but a waste of space. Before feeling numb every day.

     That’s what I hated about me, I always felt numb. Sure, I laughed and smiled for a while but honestly, I always felt numb. It got worse at night, when you’re suppose to sleep or finish up homework that you were too lazy to do when you got home, I just sat there, too deep in my thoughts that I honestly thought I could drown in them.

     No one was there with me except, well, me. I could never get away from my thoughts. Those nasty, ugly thoughts that kept pestering my mind when I didn’t want them too.

     It hurts, when you couldn’t get them out of mind. Allowing them to eat you alive, bit by bit till you did the worse to yourself in hope that maybe they would go away.

     That’s what I did when they ate me alive, did the worse thing to myself. I litter myself in all these scars, hoping that maybe, those nasty, ugly thoughts would go away. All those scars did for me was feel like shit the next day and to it too myself again, hoping that it would make me feel better.

 

 

     It never did. Nothing did really.

 

 

     God, I was such a mess back then.

 

 

     I stayed in the tub for a little bit longer.

 

 

     I eventually got out when the water got too cold for me.

 

 

     Once I was dried off and put on some clean PJs I found, I walked out of the bathroom.

      I didn’t know where I wanted to go next. I was still tired. But, I wanted to stay up a little bit longer, to get use to the fact that this was real, I was back. I then walked back into my room and snuggled up in my blankets on my bed.

     I then looked around for something, anything really. I wanted to stay awake a little bit longer.

     I then found my copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird_ lying around. I picked it up and started to reread it. Remembering all the times that I use to stay up late reading this book, again and again. I kept reading it till my eye lids felt too weak to stay open.

 

 

     Suddenly, I went back to sleep, hoping to wake up in my room in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kellin's finally out and gets to see family again. But, will seeing family get him hit rock bottom again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so sorry I never updated till now. I'll admit, I've neglected my fanfic responsibilities and I'm deeply sorry for it. But, I'm now updating all my fanfics as much as possible so updates will be more recent now. But, not once a week recent since school will start for me soon but, I promise I'll update soon. Again, I'm sorry for neglecting this fanfic.

I woke up the next morning to the sunlight hitting my eyes. I slowly opened them to see that I was still in my old bedroom. "I really am free," I said to myself.

I slowly got out of bed and stretched. I then made my way to the kitchen. I walked in to see it vacant.

I looked around to see a post-it note on the counter. I picked it up and started to read it.

_Kellin,_

_I'm currently at the store right now to get some groceries. I will only be gone for at least an hour. Eat whatever you can find in the house. Also, Aunt Ellie is coming to visit around noon, please get dress and ready before she gets here._

_Mom._

 

I put the put the note down and walked over to the fridge to fish something out. In the end, I made myself some toast and had a glass of juice.

 

"Kellin," I heard my mom shout, "I'm home." I was in the middle of getting dress when she got home. "Okay, give me a sec," I said as I quickly put on a black tee and head back downstairs. I walked down to see mom putting some food away.

 

"Hi sweetie," mom said when she notice my presence. "Hey," I said as I grabbed a box and put it in the cabinets. "Did you sleep well last night?" Mom asked. I nodded and continue to put some boxes away. "Good," she said.

 

For the next couple of minutes was complete with silence, the only noise that was made was our breathing. When everything was put away, I turned to see my mom look at me with sad eyes.

 

 

 

"Mom, are you okay?" I asked silently, kinda afraid of what she's going to say. "Yeah, just," she said with a shaky breath. She took a deep breath and said, "It's just that seeing my own son had went through all that by himself. It makes me feel like I didn't be a good mother like I should have."

 

I wrapped her around me, giving her a hug. "It's okay," I said, "I'm better now. You are a good mom, I wasn't strong back then. But, I am now. I know I am." She hugged me back. "I know you are," she said, looking up at me, "now, come on, get ready, your Aunt Ellie is coming over soon."

 

I let go of her and quickly went upstairs to get ready. By the time I was finish getting ready, Aunt Ellie had arrived.

 

 

 

"Kellin," she said as she quickly hugged me, "it's so good to finally see you again. I've missed you so much." "I missed you too," I said, hugging her back.

 

The next few hours were spent eating lunch and catching up on what happened in our lives for the past two years.

 

 

 

"Well," Aunt Ellie said, "I should be going soon." "Before you do," I said, getting up from where I was sitting, "I'm going to use the bathroom real quick."

 

I quickly went to the bathroom. I was walking down the stairs when I overhead what Aunt Ellie and mom were saying.

 

"It's a shame that he was such a weak boy. I still have a feeling that he still isn't strong to be let out." "Why?"

 

"I'm not sure. He has that atmosphere that he's still weak. In my opinion, he should've still been in that hospital a little while longer."

 

"He seems to be okay now though."

 

"Well, he did seem to be okay for years when he really wasn't. I don't know, he might be fine now."

 

By then, I had enough of hearing that conversation. It honestly upset me. I really haven't felt this way in years.

 

I quickly walked down the steps to see Aunt Ellie smiling at me. "Well, it seems I have to go now. Bye Kellin, it was wonderful seeing you again," Aunt Ellie said as she hugged me. I hugged her back, saying my goodbye and watch her leave.

 

"I'm going upstairs. I'm kinda of tired so I'm going to take a nap," I said, slowly walking up the stairs. "Okay, I'll wake you up when it's time for dinner," mom said.

 

I quickly walked to my room and closed the door behind me. I was coming undone after hearing what Aunt Ellie has said. I was becoming blinded by own sadness that the next thing I knew, I relapsed.

 

I looked down at the cuts I reopened. Seeing the blood seep on to my skin started to give that old calmness I haven't felt in years.

 

 

 

I guess I was still broken after all.


End file.
